Her first year of college worries

This is the time of year that girls are getting ready to launch off to college for the first time.  It brings a lot of anxiety and stress.  Even if she is not leaving your home to go away for school she is still nervous. 

It can be helpful for you to know what are some the things she is worried about because she won't always tell you.  Here are some of the thoughts that cross her mind... a lot.

Her roommate - even if she is rooming with people she already knows she is still worried about it.  She is wondering how they will get along.  She is also very worried about her roommate getting drunk or high and how she will handle that.  She is worried about her roommate bringing a guy or girl to stay the night and how she is going deal with it. 

Herself - it may sound strange but girls are often really concerned with how they are going to change as a person.  Especially Christian girls.  She is often scared she will lose her faith because of the influences.  She is also worried she will do all the things she told herself she would never do.  She worries about her mental health and how she will manage her emotions in a new environment. 

Her classes - believe or not she is thinking about this.  She is worried about picking the right classes.  She is fearful of choosing the wrong career path.  She is worried that you will not be OK if she chooses a different plan.  She is worried she can't keep on top of her academics.  She is worried that a professor might not like her.  She is worried she will not be able to find her classes.

Her social life - this might be her biggest fear.  She is really freaking out about meeting new people and making friends.  She is worried she might be weird or awkward.  She is worried that she will be alone. She is panicked about having to get to know people and have them reject her.  She doesn't like being "new".  Social anxiety is very real and part of why she might start drinking the moment she goes to college, to ease the stress. 

Dating - she is often thinking about who she might date in college.  She is really worried about getting married because now she is of the age where she could potentially marry the person she is dating.  That totally freaks her out.  She is worried she will be cheated on. She is worried if you will approve of who she dates.

Homesickness - This is a very real thing and she is already worried about how she will handle being away from you and the family.  The first semester is the hardest.  She is worried she will talk to you too much and she is worried she won't talk to you enough.  She is worried she will miss out on fun things at home.  She is worried you will not be able to handle her leaving. 

These are just some of her worries and the most common ones we discuss.  It can be really helpful to allow her to talk openly about these worries without you trying to resolve them.  These are natural, normal fears about the transition to college.  Most of the time she just needs to express the fear.  She needs you to validate it but not fix it.  Share your own experiences because she is listening even if she doesn't seem like she is in the moment.  The words you tell her might come back to her when she needs them most!

Is your daughter headed off to college and overly nervous about the change?  It might be helpful to have a professional she can talk to about these worries.  Katie offers consultations for college students and can provide ongoing virtual support while she is away. 

If you or someone you know might benefit from this service feel free to call 863-397-3232 to learn more or email katie@katiedeloach.com.